I Hate the Word "Death"

So tonight I watched "Dead Man Walking". It's a movie about a man on death row and the nun who gave him a chance. Without telling you how it ends, I can't help but write about it. With Mila passing away, I start to see just how short life is. I will live forever! What a bold statement to make, huh? Only I'm not the bold One, Jesus Christ is the only one who deserves the glory. Back to the movie, Sister is trying to save this man. She's telling him over and over that he must reconcile himself to receive eternal life. I sat there thinking, if she's having a hard time with someone on death row, I can't possibly expect to have it any easier. Please pray for more time to reach the dying. My idea here is that I don't deserve eternal life, neither does anyone else... but if I'm gonna get it, I need to tell everyone I meet about the hope that is in Jesus Christ. You don't understand though. I never knew how hard it was to be a Christian, but the "perks" are amazing... like grace. I'll pray for you to seek knowledge from Him. He's the only one who gives the good stuff. I love you so very much, whether you know it or not.

I'm Gonna Let My Light Shine

So at first, I was astounded. Oh so excited to get to know Him, the most amazing Man I've ever known. I am astounded by His love and grace. I could do anything... nothing would be too hard. This is life. Nothing promised, but tomorrow, either here or with Him. Absolutely nothing is wrong with the sound of that. I would hear about people losing loved ones, sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, babies, neighbors, friends, grandparents, aunts, uncles. I seem to have forgotten what it's like to lose someone. I know that no one lives forever here. We have to pass from death to life. We are in the valley of the shadow, everyday. Those who have not given their lives to Him, who choose their religion over a relationship with Him, don't know. I was thinking how do you explain this... and the hardest part is, that I can't. I want to say, "Look, you're not dead yet! Start living a life with Him. Experience real freedom. Know what it means to have eternal life and live forever. Stop living for this valley of the shadow. God did not create you to live and die... He wants you to LIVE!!!" Alas, they don't want to listen to me. No one wants to listen to me, when I talk about exactly what I've been saved from. Where I stand when I'm asking for help. Who I talk to when the world doesn't want to talk to me. I will never be able to imagine the things that Jesus endured and how He must have felt, dying for a world that did not want His forgiveness. I know people personally, who say that they will suffer the punishment on their own. Please pray for them. I got to talk to my mother this morning on the phone, and we were talking about death. She has always said that she wants to die before her children. I was saying that I will die when my time here is up, and Jesus is calling me home. I have a hope in Him, that will not fail. It's hard to type this, but I want you to trust Him, even with your children's lives. That was difficult to think, let alone type. Yes, trust God with your babies. He loves them more than you. He loves you more than you. God is Love. I reminded mom that my baby that miscarried is up there and Jill told me what a great babysitter He is. You can trust Him, even if He wants them in our Heavenly Home.
I hear about this little girl and her mother through myspace last month. The little girl's name is Mila and her mother is Andi. Mila's life has been fading over the past nine months due to a terminal brainstem glioma astrocytoma tumor. (myspace.com/andiwuvsmila) Now she is finally with Jesus. Please pray for this mommy to keep her strength after her mourning has passed.
There is this song by Brad Paisley on the radio that sums up how I feel about going home to be with Jesus and meeting those who passed before me:
When I get where I'm going
on the far side of the sky.
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly.

I'm gonna land beside a lion,
and run my fingers through his mane.
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

(Chorus:)
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
there'll be only happy tears.
I will shed the sins and struggles,
I have carried all these years.
And I'll leave my heart wide open,
I will love and have no fear.
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
Don't cry for me down here.

I'm gonna walk with my granddaddy,
and he'll match me step for step,
and I'll tell him how I missed him,
every minute since he left.
Then I'll hug his neck.

(Chorus)

So much pain and so much darkness,
in this world we stumble through.
All these questions, I can't answer,
so much work to do.

But when I get where I'm going,
and I see my Maker's face.
I'll stand forever in the light,
of His amazing grace.
Yeah when I get where I'm going,
there'll be only happy tears.
Hallelujah!
I will love and have no fear.
When I get where I'm going.
Yeah when I get where I'm going.

Hold your babies tight and tell them all about our Savior who seeks their heart so that He can hold us in His arms again for eternity.

Waiting For That Day

Vacation or Visitation?

We're in Alabama, and we've been here for almost 3 days. I feel just as tired as the day I got here. What does a vacation consist of? I pray that the Spirit will lead me in my writing.
I've spent a great deal of time with my family, in-laws, Erica, but somewhere I missed something. The schedule of events was never written. I had hoped to have talked to quite a few people by now. When I'm talking with someone, Jesus' name gets brought up somewhere in the conversation, but because of their personal convictions, the conversation is abruptly ended.
I came home from playing cards, namely Phase 10 with Erica just a while ago to find an email from Wapato. Jesus knows what I need all of the time. Pastor Pete reminded me of Truth and Grace. I think that I'm giving both, but the number of atoms in each is not mixed correctly. Maybe my next visit I'll have the formula worked perfectly. I hope that somewhere in my sleep the Truth and Grace will combine to make the Love of Him, so delicious that the conversations will continue and invitations will be accepted.
Make my words more like Yours, Lord!