Outrageous Liars

I saw a piece of the video of Cho Seung-Hui. Why would a person think such an asinine thought. I'm sure you are aware of Satan. Do you know how Jesus describes Satan in the bible?
John 8:44- "You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies."
Satan starts telling us small lies... and we believe them. I know, because I hear them all the time. Praise Jesus, that I have the truth. The knowledge of Jesus Christ and of saving grace has rescued me. I want you to know this, so that you might try to escape his trap. It is deadly... it will kill. Look at this person... He even had the audacity to say that he died like Jesus Christ. That was a huge lie from Satan. I only want to warn you, because I know that light dispels the darkness. If these words have even convinced one of you... then the words, like the law, have served their purpose. I pray that you will accept the One, True Savior, Jesus Christ. John 14:6- Jesus told him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
Hebrews 3:15-
Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.

Saved or Enslaved

Do you know what I was just thinking? I was contemplating how we think that we must straighten up our lives to accept forgiveness from God. The things that you know who, from you know where, whispers in our ears:
God could never forgive me for...
I'll never be good enough for...
How long will I spend in purgatory for... (note there is no purgatory)
Let us eat and drink for tomorrow we die.
I wonder where these lies came from (see previous post).
Romans 5:6-11 - 6For while we were still helpless, at the appointed moment, Christ died for the ungodly. 7For rarely will someone die for a just person -- though for a good person perhaps someone might even dare to die. 8But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us! 9Much more then, since we have now been declared righteous by His blood, we will be saved through Him from wrath. 10For if, while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, [then how] much more, having been reconciled, will we be saved by His life! 11And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.
I remember a time when I was young. I wondered why God would make me, and then give me all of these rules to follow. It wasn't fair. I couldn't keep these rules. Guess it's a good thing that I go to a catholic church. I was "christened", reconciled, communing, confirmed, and prayed "Our Father" and "Hail Mary" whenever I sinned.
Still, at the age of 18, I wasn't satisfied with any of those things. Scott and Brandon told me about Jesus Christ, and my journey for Truth began. Please note that two years earlier I was involved in a horrible car accident, which cost me the summer before my senior year. God had been calling my name, but pride kept me from listening. Now, I am free from my sinful life. Before coming to Christ, my only option was sin. Now I have another option.
Bob George says it perfectly, "Becoming a Christian can be likened to a caterpillar being transformed into a butterfly. Although you might not always act like a good "butterfly", you are never going to be a worm again.
On my space, the instructions for receiving Christ and becoming a "butterfly" are located above the "Call on Jesus" video. I think that is a perfect place for it to be.
Thankyou for reading and feel free to copy and paste this message into a new bulletin. Please share the message of freedom in Jesus Christ with friends and family.
Visit realanswers.net if you have questions.

I Didn't Know the Truth

Ok... it's on my heart. It's ok for me to feel this way. Catholicism did me wrong. It kept me from knowing my Savior intimately. As long as I was a Catholic, I was judged. God has told me numerous times that there is no condemnation left for my sins. My sins could never be taken away by the act of confession. Repentance never worked. I couldn't pray my way out no matter how many times I prayed to Mary, the mother of God. She is a great woman, she should be respected, but for no other reason other than because she believed God. My sins were only taken away by the blood of Jesus. He is the One who deserves my praise. Do you get what I'm saying, and I am trying to say this with all of the grace I understand, which may/may not be enough. Lord, I pray that it is. Are you Catholic or some other religion that follows a doctrine not in accord with the bible? Do you experience Jesus Christ living for you? Do you experience His presence? Do you know that once you have Him, He will never leave you? "I once was lost, but now I'm found. Was blind, but now I see." If you are not experiencing any of those things that I questioned above, then I want to humbly ask you to look in the bible. Do not question your religion, because like I've said before Jesus Christ wants a relationship. I don't wish for anyone to feel judged by this. Convicted... well, maybe, but not judged. Jesus said "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life." You want to know how to live, ask the Way. You want to know what's factual, go ask the Truth. You want to know what it means to never die, ask the Life.
Praise you Lord. Thankyou Jesus!!!

My Redeemer Lives

Do you wanna know the truth? Without Jesus Christ in my life, living it for me, telling me where to go, when to stay, when to speak, when to shut my mouth, I am wretched. Why, with the knowledge that I have, turn my back on who I am?
I'll tell you why, because without Jesus, I am a sinner... still in need of a Savior. Every single day, I need my Savior walking with me, telling me what to do. I am an infant on milk. Why haven't I graduated to solid food? It probably has a great deal to do with pride. There are probably other factors in the equation as well. The other factors are the stones in my wall, that Jesus helps me remove. I can't remove them on my own. They are too heavy, or just wedged in to tightly. Jesus is so awesome. Do you know what He told me? He said that He would never leave me, never forsake me. I'll bet that you've never had that kind of love before. No matter what you do, Jesus will not leave you. You've heard the footsteps poem. It is through our hard times when He carries us. I love Him. I can't wait to be with Him. Right now, I don't feel worthy to be in His presence, but you know what He says, "Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." He's gonna hold me in His great arms, and rock me to sleep. I'm sorry, but that is one amazing Love. None greater. Try to compare my wonderful Creator. He is the beginning and the end. Thankyou, Pastor Eric for the reminder. The Alpha and Omega can do everything, because He is everything. Incomparable by my standards.
Today is Easter. You know what I think? I think you should accept His gracious gift of salvation. He wants you to have it. What better day to receive it, than the day set to remember it. I'm praying that you will.

The Passion of my Savior - Hallelujah!!

I don't know what to write. I watched The Passion for the first time last night. My words in my blogs do not say enough for what He took for me on the cross. In fact, watching what happened to Him for my sins, shut my mouth.

"So Nathalie, are you worthy?"
"No, Lord, not by myself. I will try not to judge. I will try not to condemn. I will love others. I had no idea. So, what do I call You? Jesus isn't enough. Can I call you my Lord? Can I call you my Savior? Can I do what You did on the cross just to see You? Lord, I'm sorry, I couldn't. I know that Your love is great. I understand now more than ever. I am so glad that I waited to see it. Your time is perfect. If I had seen it before I loved You like I do, I do not know if it would mean as much. I look forward to being with You. When I see You, I will fall at Your feet and worship You, Lord, for You are worthy. Pick me my Savior! When You need Your feet washed, when You need anything, call on me. I am Your humble servant. I will follow you. I will do what You ask. Call on me! You reign, Lord! ThankYou for making me worthy."

I will still write to You and for You, if that's what You will.

It's a big, big house!

I layed in bed for just a little while last night before falling asleep. I thought about my day, and about the day before. I figured out what my friend was talking about at church on Wednesday night. My love for Jesus is new. In every new relationship there is a period of butterflies in your stomach. Being around your love, sends tingles up your spine. She was saying that it just grows. Not that I would love Jesus any less, but that I would love Him more. That this "courtship" would end. That when the butterfly feeling is over, it doesn't mean that Jesus is gone, just that my love for Him is maturing. I think I get it friend. Thankyou!!!
Yesterday was Maundy Thursday. We had a footwashing service at our home fellowship group.
My good friend Chrissy, humbled herself for me, and I humbled myself for Shelli. I thought "Oh, this will be easy. I'll tell them how great they are and wash their feet." I was mistaken. When I was kneeling before Shelli, I was telling her very true things, I was humbling myself... but I learned I need to be humbled more. I need more practice. I want my life to be lived with humility. That is harder than it sounds.
Lord, if you will, humble me all day long.
Tonight we are watching "The Passion of the Christ". I called Patricia to ask her if she was going. She said she would probably be watching babies. She is such an awesome woman. She told me to bring a towel, for crying. I know I will need one.
I also got to speak to my friend Rachel from Mobile, this afternoon. I want her to have Jesus Christ in her life. Not for my benefit, but for hers. I want her to receive the down payment of the Holy Spirit so that she will understand Jesus and the Word easily. Please accept eternal life. I want to share the experience with you. "Welcome to the Father's House." That's the song I'll sing on the way. I want you to receive Him so that you'll be perfected with me. You will never thirst again.

"The Pursuit of Happiness"

Today was beautiful. I don't even remember what it looked like outside? Was it cloudy? Sunny? Was it raining? Doesn't matter it was beautiful. A friend seemed to be asking me questions... or maybe she was just telling me she was puzzled. I do not have the answers she was looking for, but, oh, how I wish I did. I want to be able to tell everyone that it will be alright. When? Right now? Nothing seems alright. We watched "The Pursuit of Happyness". It had a really good ending. I was crying throughout the whole thing. I was thinking "God please don't take my lifestyle away." I even know that I don't deserve it. What if He did? What if I wake up tomorrow and somewhere over the course of the night, He's decided I don't need it anymore. Then I have to start "practicing what I preach." "Everything will be alright, right now." He's already instructed me to not worry about tomorrow, because today has enough worries of it's own.
I went to my first Wednesday night prayer meeting at Wapato. Just a few of us. We were praying for you... you don't have a name, but we prayed anyway. Lord, what should I be telling people. What if I told them I forgive them 70 x 7? What if... What if I told them that You love them. I'll just start off with basics. Jesus loves you, immeasurably. While I was watching that movie, I kept thinking about the title. In the movie Chris (Will Smith) said something about the pursuit of happiness is just a pursuit. I don't know. I'm happy. I don't feel like it's unattainable. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I do not have the right to be happy. If I am unhappy, I can't sue anyone. I have the right to pursue happiness. How miserable would I be if I never attained happiness?
Praise You Lord! ThankYou for making me who You want. You make me want to be happy, and so I am.
I asked the question in my head tonight, "how great Thou art?" I answered it the same way, "how great Thou art!"
Lord, I want to seek Your face. At the end of every day, Lord, I want to feel like I've spent all day with You. Help me focus, Lord, like my friend.

How great thou art?

Just how great is God? Well, lets start with the beginning. Nothing was happening...anywhere. God created everything we see and even things we don't. From nothing He made things happen. You still want to know how great God is. Ok... He created you and me. Sin was in the world before we were. He knew you were going to sin. He knew the sins that would capture you. He knew you'ld say "yes" when you should have said "no". So what did He do? Well, He made the decision that He couldn't live without you. To be seperated from you, was unbearable. He sent His Son who came in the form of a man to redeem you, to save you from being separated from Him. Did you get all of that? He sent His One and Only Son. Would you send yours? Absolutely not, you say? Well, He didn't say that. Guess what, because of that one decision a long time ago, you are forgiven. Did you hear me? I said forgiven. For everything you did. Want that forgiveness to be apart of your life? Go ahead, take it... it's yours, because of Jesus Christ! Happy Easter!

Then, where did hate come from?

That's what I was thinking about! When I was in bed two nights ago, I layed there thinking about how people act towards me when I speak of Jesus. When I talk about God there usually is no disagreement, but when the name Jesus is brought up, duck! I remembered in the bible when Jesus says that the world hates Him.
John 7:7 "The world cannot hate you, but it hates Me because I testify of it, that its deeds are evil."
John 15:8 "If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you."
For the past few months I have taken great offense, when someone slanders the name of Jesus in my presence. I am really hurt. They are speaking of the lover of my soul. Come on! It feels the same way when someone speaks ill of your mother, father, or child.
Father forgive me for taking offense. Teach me to have compassion for them like You.
I was just thinking about love and hate and how they relate to my Lord and Savior. Jesus loves me. I love Jesus. Jesus wants no one to perish, so Jesus loves people. People hate Jesus. What a heart breaker!!!
Pastor Pete said something tonight that struck a tender spot in me. He showed John 3:16 from a different perspective. The Father told His Son that He loves us so much, He needs Him to give His life for ours. The Son loves us that much, He willingly complies. This glorified God.
I want to honor You with my life. I want to bear the kind of fruit that glorifies Your name. I want You to feel confident enough to use me.
Oh my Savior! "I love you" just doesn't cut it.

That Thing Called Love

What is it about love? The source of love... where does it come from? What makes me love so much. It can't be found in religion. It can only be found in a relationship. Who in their right mind loves religion. How can anyone? If I could have a moment of your time to look at the different religions. The faith is different for every one of them. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Religious_faiths%2C_traditions%2C_and_movements

Now I want to look at how wikipedia defines religion:

A religion is a set of beliefs and practices generally held by a human community, involving adherence to codified beliefs and rituals and study of ancestral or cultural traditions, writings, history, and mythology, as well as personal faith and mystic experience. The term "religion" refers to both the personal practices related to communal faith and to group rituals and communication stemming from shared conviction. All religions present a common quality, the "hallmark of religious thought": the division of the world in two comprehensive domains, one sacred, the other profane. [1] Religion is often described as a communal system for the coherence of belief focusing on a system of thought, unseen being, person, or object, that is considered to be supernatural, sacred, divine, or of the highest truth. Moral codes, practices, values, institutions, tradition, rituals, and scriptures are often traditionally associated with the core belief, and these may have some overlap with concepts in secular philosophy. Religion is also often described as a "way of life".The development of religion has taken many forms in various cultures. "Organized religion" generally refers to an organization of people supporting the exercise of some religion with a prescribed set of beliefs, often taking the form of a legal entity (see religion-supporting organization). Other religions believe in personal revelation and responsibility. "Religion" is sometimes used interchangeably with "faith" or "belief system,"[2] but is more socially defined than that of personal convictions.

Wait, wait, wait... didn't I read in the bible a few weeks ago, that we should not separate ourselves from each other and the common belief in God, the Holy Spirit, and His Son Jesus Christ? If someone claims to be "religious" is this how they describe their beliefs? What has religion done to us? What does it mean to be a Christian? Why do I have all of these questions? Because of religion. God does not want us to "religiously" worship Him. Remember that He wants a relationship with us. God wants to know you, and more importantly He wants to be known by you. Religion "falls short" in almost every category. Would you believe that almost every description of religion in that paragraph, is fallible when compared to the Bible. Don't you try to tell me that our love letter from God, testifies to that description.

I layed in bed last night thinking about what was on my heart. What better place to think about love. Did you know that 1 John 4:10 says, "Love consists in this: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins." He loved you and I first. We love Him, and we love others because He has shown us how to love. He is the inventor of it.

In John 10:7-11,
7 So Jesus said to them again, "Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. 8 "All who came before Me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not hear them. 9 "I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. 11 "I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. (courtesy HCSB)

I hope that this will bring you a better understanding of His love for us. I pray that you will answer His call of salvation.
I saw a bumper sticker tonight on a car that said "Freedom isn't free". Yes it is!!!
PRAISE JESUS!

Spirit of Love

My thoughts...
I layed in bed thinking about you. Thinking how I hope that you are not listening to the evil plots, that are being waged against you, because of your faith. It made me think about what you really need to know when you hear things that bring doubt.
I've got my coffee so ...
Remember how I told you that God is love. I want you to be certain of this fact. God loves His children, above all. He loves you so much that He sent His only Son to die for your sins on a cross. No matter what you do, where you go, or what you think, God loves you. It's greater than unconditional love. When you hear things that make you doubt, go back to this fact, God is love. The things that you'll hear, whether from a person, or a thought, say things like:
"How can He love you that much?"
"That's to good to be true."
"You really messed up big this time."
"Will He forgive me for that?"
The list goes on an on and on. When you hear things that bring doubt, stand before the truth, and let God's Spirit judge for you. If it doesn't add up, then you know it's not from God. Now I need to tell you about the Spirit that God gives you when you accept salvation.
In 2 Timothy 1:3-7, Paul is writing to Timothy:

3I thank God, whom I serve with a clear conscience as my forefathers did, when I constantly remember you in my prayers night and day. 4Remembering your tears, I long to see you so that I may be filled with joy, 5clearly recalling your sincere faith that first lived in your grandmother Lois, then in your mother Eunice, and that I am convinced is in you also. 6Therefore, I remind you to keep ablaze the gift of God that is in you through the laying on of my hands. 7For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.

In verse 13-14 Paul reminds him of the power in the Spirit that Timothy has received.

13Hold on to the pattern of sound teaching that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. 14Guard, through the Holy Spirit who lives in us, that good thing entrusted to you.
I pray that if you were beginning to fear, that this might bring you a Spirit of sound judgment.

An excerpt from my letter to Rachel

I was reading over this and finally saw how important this is.
"...The thing I love about Jesus, unlike anyone else, He wants me just the way I am: flawed, overweight, brain injured, possessive, prideful, a sinner. Does He want these things changed? Absolutely! Can I change them? Not by myself. You've probably heard about grace. God's grace is a beautiful word. Because of grace I know God, and God knows me. Ephesians 2: 4-10 ((HCSB) Read it slowly:)But God, who is abundant in mercy, because of His great love that He had for us, made us alive with the Messiah even though we were dead in trespasses. By GRACE you are saved! He also raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavens, in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages He might display the immeasurable riches of His GRACE in [His] kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For by GRACE you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God's gift -- not from works, so that no one can boast. For we are His creation -- created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them. I don't deserve anything, and if God never did another thing for me, He would still be worthy of my praise. Three years ago I was absolutely miserable. I had received Jesus as my savior, but at the time did not know my inheritance. After a miscarriage with the recognition that I had failed another thing, God sent me a bible study called Classic Christianity. God has done it all! It is finished. I will definately be in heaven with Jesus when my days are done. He is perfecting me, and He'll be done when I am with Him.Praise Jesus! If you have not accepted this beautiful gift (wish you could see my facial expressions when I talk about JOY) I invite you. It says "How can a person have God's forgivenes, heaven, and eternal life, and Jesus as personal Savior and Lord? By trusting in Christ and asking Him for forgiveness. Take the step of faith described by another meaning of FAITH: Forsaking All I Trust Him."We pray to Jesus!!!Pray: Lord Jesus, I know I am a sinner. I believe You died for my sin and only through faith in Your death and resurrection can I be forgiven. I want to turn from my sin and ask You to come into my life as my Savior and Lord. From this day on, I will follow You by laying my life down and letting you live Your life through me. Thank You, Lord Jesus for rescuing me from this body of death. Amen. John 14:6- Jesus told him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."Write me back if you just prayed, and I'll explain your inheritance. It is awesome.

The Day is Done

Grace, freedom, and truth. By themselves they are great, but when describing a Man... wow! The more I think about Jesus, the more I feel free to worship Him however I want. Pastor Pete talked about reckless worship a few Sundays ago. I'm not quite reckless, but it's definately a stretch from singing hymns in a catholic church. I want to praise my Savior. Not only did He give His life for mine, He is now living His life through mine. How can He, you ask. Quite easily, when you think about it, but it is a power struggle. When I lay my life at His feet, He's living my life for me. I've been reading a book by Max Lucado called "Traveling Light: Releasing the Burdens You Were Never Intended to Bear." Great reading, if you're interested. I've always tried to lay my worries at His feet, but now that I know that I was never intended to bear them, it's no sweat to let Him. You've probably heard the saying "Let Go. Let God." If you can't bear it, He created us, He loved us, and He called us to freedom. What He says now is shocking! John 8:36- "If the Son sets you free, you shall be free indeed." Guess what! You can not be made perfect by the law. What's this crazy talk Nat? If it were possible to be made perfect by the law then Jesus died for nothing. He is awesome! Here is another piece of information. John 3:16- "For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." Jesus desires a relationship with you, more than He wants you to be a good person. We were all made with a desire to be loved. Every single one of us. Guess who loves you recklessly? So much in fact He would rather die for you, than not have you for eternity. Ok... ponder this thought and if you need more I'll see what God has in store for tomorrow night.
Jesus loves me and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, ...
Good night! May Jesus our Lord and Savior grant you a desire for Him, and sweet dreams of eternity.
Nat
Phillipians 1:6- For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

Sharing not Shoving

What is my excuse for not sharing God's love with everyone? Some people do it, and it's not a problem. Why can't I? So when I sing to "Take My Life" by Third Day, I am asking Him to "take from me my life" and use it. I'm still waiting on Him to teach me how to love people like He loves them. I have a hard time loving Tony like Jesus loves him, and Tony is my best friend. Trust Jesus. In a short time, I'll be writing a blog about how much I love everyone, and Tony most of all. Why am I submitting myself to be changed? The world wants me to think that I should be proud of who I am. A concern for self has nothing to do with humility. God says He resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Lord, make me humble. I want to shower in Your grace. What a sweet cleansing that would be! Please don't think that I'm shoving Jesus down anyone's throat. Change that thought to "she's sharing the good news of Jesus Christ with me." So this is me... sharing not shoving.

Jesus loves me, this I know.

I stayed up late... trying to get the house clean. When James wakes up in the morning he does not give me a good break. I'm running a load of dishes. I know, hard work. Just kidding. Now I'm thinking, crawl in bed beside Tony, and snooze until 6 am. I started thinking about missing another night of writing and decided I would write something. What will I write. I do not want to feel like I'm shoving Jesus down anyone's throat. He does not want to be shoved down anyone's throat. Why do I do it? Why do I feel the need? Simply because I am experiencing a freedom not of this world. Guess what? I try not to live under the law. Jesus' rules, not mine. He wants me to live by His grace. I want to do that too. I want to share that grace with other people. Guess what Nathalie figured out, people don't see grace, when she's shoving, or trying to shove, Jesus "down their throats". I was thinking, I am a very young Christian. In the world of roses, I am a bud. In the world of bears, I am a cub. In the world of Jesus, I am a toddler. I hope you can see where I'm going with this. I don't have the knowledge to share a lot of details. All I know is that I was a sinner, headed for hell. God chose me to be one of His MANY children, and after a long, losing struggle, I surrendered. If God chose you, or if you feel like you are being called by God, make it easy and submit yourselves to His will. The Creator of everything knows what He's doing.
Thankyou Lord. Praise Jesus! Hope your day is blessed!

Don't Delay

James is sick. It's tonsillitis. He gave it to me. We're supposed to be on antibiotics. I have not taken any, and have not given him any. I never got the prescription filled. Guess we'll start tomorrow.
I got the bathroom painted today. The final selection is Desert Sunrise with sponged on Indian Paint Brush. It looks ok. It has the orange effect. Not bad for my first sponging by myself. Ok... Tony helped me a little. I'll take pictures and post them later.
We had our last bible study in Growing in Grace this evening. It was good. The last thing I wrote was "Amen!" God is so good to me. He's equally good to everyone else. No room for gloating. I have learned so much about Him in the past two years. We've been doing our bible studies for two years now. Learning about my freedom in Christ is amazing. Hence the song "Amazing Grace". Try it if you get the opportunity... you won't be disappointed. There is no room for excuses. NOT because God won't excuse you, but because the excuses that we come up with for avoiding Him, just aren't good enough. He loves us more than we can understand. 1 Corinthians 13 tells what love is if you're interested. By the way, God is love. I don't remember what I said I would write about last night. Probably better off.
Hope everyone is healthy!

A Beautiful Day

I woke up after, um... maybe 12 hours. I have the flu. My whole body is aching right now. Lord, heal me. Please restore my strength.
I still managed to have a good day. I walked up to Roger's Park to meet my friend Patricia. While I waited on her to arrive, I walked over to the swings, and I believe I swung higher than ever before. It could also just be because I've probably never been heavier and the pull of gravity is somewhat greater. While I was swinging, I was thinking about how great it is to be a child of God. Free to let my hair down and swing higher and higher without the fear of someone pointing at the fat girl on the swing. What freedom!!! So I basked in His glory on that swing. Patricia is taking care of a mentally handicapped young man. What an experience I bet that is! He will forever be a child at heart. Always God's beautiful child. My cousin Davey is mentally handicapped. I sure do miss him. I bet that it has been 10 years at least since I have seen him. Back to the young man I was talking about, I introduced myself to him and shook his hand, and he had a hard time stopping. Then he was talking about the bun in my hair. Patricia told him not to touch, but if he had I would not mind. Patricia and I walked around in circles while she kept an eye on him, playing with sticks and things around the great big trees. I love praying with Patricia, because I can feel God when we pray. What an experience!!
Tony and I finished putting the primer on the bathroom walls. I noticed that I was asking for his help less and less. Which is good, but I don't want him to think that I don't need him. It's just that he always complains about having to stop playing his computer game to help. Patricia was telling me to hold on to my man tightly, and not to let Satan's lies steal him away from me. She is so right. Lord, help me give Tony the truth with grace. Soften his heart to receive your words. I pray that all of you will hold on to your men with all of your strength. To have to let them be taken away by the lie of another woman, or the lie of a better life would be dismemberment of your flesh. Remember that. "The two will become one flesh."

Beautiful Savior

Who's been on my mind today? I can only think of Jesus. All of the songs that are sung for Him, all of the prayers that are prayed to Him, all of the things He has changed in my life. I was telling Fabi, I wish I could list all of the things that He has changed in my life. I can't even come up with a number. God is good. I also realized today why the bible calls it a mystery. It can only be revealed by the Holy Spirit. If you can't understand why some of us Christians or "Jesus freaks" (as my husband calls us) do the things we do, and you truly desire to know, then ask the Spirit to reveal it to you.
I do not feel at home in my daily life. I want to be where Jesus is seated at the right hand of the Father wiping His feet with my hair and annointing them with oil. Yet, I also have a strong desire to see my son and my husband start a relationship with our Father in heaven who provides us with EVERYTHING that we will need. If it is better for me to stay, His will be done.
Our God is an awesome God. Where I am, God is. Sin used to follow me around. Where I was, it was. Now that I have been born into the likeness of Christ, God follows me around. Life is good. I am anxiously awaiting my heavenly home.

The Good News

I hope that these thoughts will be coherent enough to understand. It's 2 am, and I love Jesus. The thought of being with Him in heaven is exciting. Saying that, I also want you to know that I will not kill myself to get there. He has changed my life. Just thinking about the changes that He has made, amaze me. Lord you are awesome, amazing, wonderful, beautiful,... I have run across some very sad web sites dedicated to loved ones lost. I've been very gungho for some reason that nothing is hard. What am I thinking? Life can be tragic. First, Jesus doesn't kill people. He may set their time, but He will not take them away from us. He's not selfish. Which I'm sure that some, if not all, of you know. Second, when you fall "asleep" 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 says "13 But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. 14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus." I've heard to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. That's something to get excited about. To be present with Beauty and Love. That is what I want. However, I don't feel that tragedy has ever fallen at my feet so I know that it is so easy for me to say things like that when I'm not missing anyone. I only pray that when I'm forced to say goodbye to someone I dearly love, that I will remember eternity and where they are. Sometimes when we lose people dear to us, God hopes to get our attention, and learn about His grace so that we might share His glory with others who are dealing with tough times. Starting with a near fatal accident in 1998, to the loss of two very good friends, and finally my miscarriage, God was trying to get my attention. He got more than my attention, He won my heart. Let me say that I am reading books on loss so that I can understand the emotions that I might be denying. I hope to write some more on what I'm reading.